Debugging

After a particularly frustrating marathon debugging session on Sunday, I was inspired to write a poem.

Why won’t it work?
I stare at the screen
of the hateful machine

I check all the details
in the documentation
While the error prevails
with my growing frustration

I stare at the screen
of the hateful machine
Why won’t it work?

I read through the code
Line after line
Will it explode?
It all looks fine

Why won’t it work?

Can this not be solved by logic
Rather than a gin and tonic?

I go for a walk
to clear my head
I wonder which detail
I could have misread

Why won’t it work?

I don’t believe it
I try it once more
The testing reveals
That it’s broken for sure

I stare at the screen
of the hateful machine
Why won’t it work?

After hours and hours
using all of my powers
I can prove that nothing is wrong
Why won’t it work?

My eyes are red
It’s time for bed
I take a break
And eat some bread

I stare at the screen
of the hateful machine
Why won’t it work?

My ideas exhausted
I ask for assistance
This has to be better
than endless persistence

I explain the problem
from the beginning
My head is spinning
He listens

Words pass my mouth
at such a pace
Desperately trying
not to lose face

As I realise that something
just isn’t quite right
I dig a bit deeper
Because this just might

Be the answer, the light
The end of the fight
With wishful delight
I forsee
the end of the night

I fix and I test
and, embarrassed, I jest
that a schoolboy would make
this sort of mistake

But it works now
<yawn>
I’m going to bed
In the morning once more
I’ll be using my head

I’ll write the next feature
And pray the next bug,
That most nasty creature,
Won’t be so smug

I dream:
“Why won’t it work?”

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